As many of you know, I'm a senior resident Daily Kos Limbaugh-logist because, frankly, someone from our side has to do it.  And I've adjusted my brain to shield it from the harmful radiation a normal, healthy liberal mind is bombarded with when listening to Rush.  Rush normally speaks in a rather wide manner so as to avoid being called out, but every now and then he tees one up for us to launch into the cheap seats.   So it was with much joy in my heart that I heard Rush yesterday demand the following:

RUSH: I would like to challenge Barack Obama, who is running around demanding corrections from everybody else who misspeaks about him or who offends him, I would like to challenge Obama to prove where I ever said that immigrants ought to be rounded up and deported.

We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself there would be no heroes. - Mark Twain's Autobiography

There is nothing so damaging to the psyche as discovering that someone you’ve considered a hero turns out to be a human being like the rest of us.  It is especially vexing to the spirit when the hero’s tragic flaw is a hypocritical one.  As you have no doubt already heard, NY Governor Eliot Spitzer is "involved" in a prostitution ring.  He’s issued a nebulous apology for familial wrongdoings.  

Damn.  

There goes my hero.

You know what?  Screw that.  I AM mad!

Honest to God, I've had all I can take from this Congress.  The economy is in the shitter, we've called off the draw down in Iraq, Afghanistan is falling apart, New Orleans is still a craphole, and what's the headline coming out of congress?

"Clemens shelled by Congress"

Seriously?!  Steroids in baseball?  Henry Waxman, I love you brother, but can I tell you something in strictest confidence?  We elected you to investigate the Bush administration, NOT Roger Clemens.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Hang on, let me go back to 2006 and see where "steroids in baseball" ranked in the exit polls.  Oh, that's right, it was NOWHERE in the exit polls.

Just a quick reminder to everybody that, despite all the acrimony, acidity, rudeness, double-talk, name-calling, motive-questioning, race-baiting, and fear-mongering of the primary season - after today we are one step closer to having our nominee.

And when we finally get that nominee, to borrow a phrase from R. Lee Ermy, we'd all best "un-f**k" ourselves with a quickness.  Because whoever it is, we're going to have to go to war for them fast!

It's primary day in Florida, and the demoralized GOP faithful trudge to the ballot box to determine which is the lessor of two evils - which still amazes me.  I mean, figuring out what WE want as Democrats is a challenge, but figuring out what conservatives want is about the easiest thing in the world.  In no particular order:

1. Free Markets

2. Lower Taxes

3. Traditional Values

4. No Brown People of Any Kind

It was interesting to me to see how, in the aftermath of South Carolina, pundit after pundit gave their guess as to who Edwards was "hurting" more.   Some say he helps Obama by splitting the white vote with Hillary.  Others think he helps Clinton by splitting the "anti-Clinton" vote.  I thought I might try a novel concept.  I thought I’d ask.

Continuing to ignore the primary diaries, race arguments, and flame wars, let's enjoy another eiditon of "Shuffle Your Ipod" Friday!

The rules:

1. Get our your Ipod/MP3 Player

2. Hit Shuffle

3. List the first 10 songs that come up.  Commentary optional.

4. No cheating!  Don't pick and choose.  If an Air Supply song comes up, tough noogies.

Okay, I'll start.

Looking to take a break from candidate diaries and flame wars?  Then join me for an idea that I'm apparently ripping off from someplace else, "Shuffle Your Ipod" Friday!

Okay, here's the rules.  You turn it on, you press shuffle, and you tell us the first 10 songs it comes up with.  You do NOT get to pick and choose.  It has to be random.  If it picks too many songs by Winger or Air Supply it's because you have too much Winger or Air Supply on your portable music device.  Make changes accordingly, but don't cheat!

"What do you want" is not an inconsequential question.  In memory of the late G'Kar (both the actor and the blogger), consider when that question was asked on Babylon 5.  A powerful race called "the Shadows" offers it's assistance to each member of a 4-sided conflict by asking "what do you want?"  The first wants revenge, the second wants to be left alone, the third wants to know why they're asking, and the last wants power.  They elect to help the group that wants power.  In the end, this group gets all the power they ever wanted, but are so corrupted by it they end up wishing they'd never made the bargain.

Ultimately the answer to the question of "what do you want" says more about who you are than anything else.

Don’t worry, I haven’t gone back to the dark side.  I just wanted to point out the one argument that every conservative will make in response to bonddad’s accurate diary on why tax cuts don’t pay for themselves.

So, you’ve printed out that little chart thingie, and you walk over to your favorite dittohead’s cubicle, slam down the chart and shout "Checkmate, beeotch!"

His response?

"Then how come federal revenues are at an all-time high right now?"

Editors Note: A timely combination of two postsfrom two different worlds.

A number of Pie supporters have been appealing to Cake supporters to switch their support to Pie to ensure that a "Tasty Edible" candidate gets elected instead of Flan.  They implicitly suggest that Cake supporters will get everything they want if Pie ends up being elected instead of Cake.  These Pie fans apparently do not realize that  Pie and Cake are not black and white versions of the same thing.  Pie feels all the right sentiments and speaks about them eloquently, but his culinary instincts are woefully inadequate for the task at hand.  I like Pie and would probably vote for him in any other year based on his pure likability, alone.  But I cannot support him as long as Cake is in the race.  Cake represents real hope to me, because he sees clearly how we  must approach our battles with Big Custard.

More below the delicious, sugary fold.

It's been a LONG primary season, and it's not over, but wouldn't it be nice to take a day off?  Hell, it's Friday!  Iowa's done!  The weekend's here!  Let's celebrate a little!

Here, this should help you transition out of "candidate diary" mode. It's a little affirmation from me to you:

"Your candidate is the only one who can beat the Republicans in November.  No, I don't know why more people don't understand that.  Yes, I know, your candidate leads that one candidate by 8 points, and that other candidate by 12 in the new East Jesus University Likability Index Poll.  No, I hadn't heard your candidate just got endorsed by the Paradise Valley Thimbleworkers Union.  Congratulations.  Yes, we're all very excited.  All the best in New Hampshire."

Good.  Now that THAT'S out of the way, let's find out more about you, the veiwer at home.

God, I hate when that happens!  I know yesterday I said how tired I was of primary diaries, but the Republican primary race remains the damndest thing I have ever seen.  I just can’t help myself.  It must be something in the water.

I’ll get back to the book stuff tomorrow.  I swear!  It’s just, competing with the Hawkeye Cauci seems...well, impossible.  And if I’m going to have to talk about it anyway, I’d much rather talk about how bad things are for the other side.

Unlike a lot of folks (apparently), I don’t really care who wins the Democratic primary.  Whoever it is gets my vote, and whoever it is will have a serious homecourt advantage over the eventual Republican primary winner.  I say this in all confidence because the Republican Party is tearing itself to pieces, and whoever wins their nomination will alienate some sizable segment of their political base.

It's me...advisorjim, and I need your help.

Some of you may remember me as the suddenly prolific and then just as suddenly silent author of the "Confessions of a Former Dittohead" series back in the fall of 2005.  Others may have seen me when I was on tour in 2006 promoting the book of the same name.  But most of you probably have no idea who I am, because in blog years I'm like a thousand years old.  So, for the benefit of those who may not be familiar with my story, here's the insanely quick version:

On Christmas Day in 800 A.D., Carolus Magnus knelt in prayer at St. Peter's Cathedral in Rome.  While he knelt, eyes closed in prayer, Pope Leo III placed upon his head a crown.  The man known as Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, would later decry that, had he known Pope Leo's plan he never would have attended the service.  By his actions, Pope Leo created the perception that Charlemagne's power was derived from the church, thus establishing a tradition whereby any future emperors could only attain the title with the blessings of the church.

As Mark Twain once said, "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."  

Fast-forward 1,207 years and another man who would be king faces a very similar dilemma.  Mike Huckabee would like to be President, but Pope Limbaugh I isn't impressed.

As Markos so wisely points out, the Republican party is falling apart.  It's finally been taking over by the Theo-cons, and the remaining factions are now seemingly running in fear from the monster they created.  So this begs the question...what are our factions?

Howard Dean made a stop in Memphis during the HFjr campaign in 2006 and made an interesting observation. "The only 'majority' in the Democratic Party is women."  That means we're just as much a motley crew as the GOP, but for the last 7 years that hasn't mattered.  The one true majority we've had has been "we're NOT the GOP."

So I'm having dinner last night in a private dining room with about a dozen clients doing a "client appreciation dinner."  One of them I know to be a huge "RedState" guy.  Now, for the record, I NEVER start political conversations in mixed company, and I especially never start such conversations among clients.  But I was damn sure going to finish it.

It's funny, but here we are 42 months into the 2008 Presidential election season, and no one has asked the single most important question of any Presidential race – Would I have a beer with this person?  At least I assume that's the most important question of the election season.  It was, after all, the defining characteristic of George W. Bush that caused a barely perceptible majority to prefer his candidacy over that of John Kerry in 2004.